Tips for you "DATELESS F@#KING JAIMERS." or it's not like losing a set of car keys.

 OK look around the room if you don't see the dateless guy,guess what it's you' you F.N. prat. but hold on to your biscuits,don't throw yourself under a bus just yet,(you'll have that someone special to do that for you later.) Here's a few tips to set you in the right direction.

GREAT LOOKS,LOADS OF MONEY,BIG HOUSE,BITCH'N RIDE,HUGE PENIS, oops this must be somebody else.

You ,you poor bastard ain't none of this,but with a little help she'll be sampling "sum yung guy."

Grooming: Chicks dig a guy who's fashionable,smells good,with nice hair, you can be as dumb as a fart,but if you can get this far you are on your way.

Be Funny: Chicks like a guy with a sense of humor,witty and charming, you are so screwed, all you got are farts, bad Darth Vader breathing noises, so just smile and look like a puppy.

Women need to be complimented,on a regular basis.This is a psychosomatic minefield. You go to dinner, If she says "I'll just have a little salad,what do you think." The correct answer is "you have wonderful taste in jewelry." this is the "SHINNY" principle, like jingling keys or having your cat chase a laser pointer, change the subject, you can't win. Remember " Booty trumps Honesty."

Confidence: Your (SOL) sh#t out of luck, so fake it. " Just like KFC you got that special sauce that stirs my curiosity."Do the Helen Keller.

Be a good Listener: This ones easy. Since your not gonna get a word in anyway.Clear your mind, your playing xbox360, in a happy place,you are in a zen state. Repeat these word as your mantra: " you don't say, thats right, uh huh, she didn't." As you improve they will become natural and your kung fu will be strong.

To you sir WELL PLAYED, WELL PLAYED. Her vagina looks like an ARBY'S roast beef sandwich go have lunch.