Happy Holiday's, It's that time of the year to visit loved ones across the country, the crisp air, egg nog, football, holiday turkey with all the trimmings! MMMMMMM..mmm.Well if you plan on flying, Your friends at T.S.A. a.k.a. H.L.S. what you to know you will be flying those friendly skies free of FEAR ! Thanks to our full body scanner 3000. We can detect any anomaly that may be hidden under clothing, using x RAY VISION! Like those black horn rimmed glasses with the vortex eyes that beat nik was wearing you saw on the back of comic books next to the bag of army men for .99 cents only BETTER! And guys if you have a small penis, bent pecker, dangling balls, or mini nuts, a monkey tail, colostomy bag or other embarrassing body parts or medical devise. Or you Gals with embarrassing body fat, jelly rolls,muffin hips fried eggs for titties, or miss matched CHI CHI'S, bolt ons, scars, wrinkles,super long HOO HA lips, KOOTER Wig's,or so many piercings you can feel the magnetic pull from the moon. we can almost,petty sure, maybe,50/50 coin toss,possibly,most certainly,fingers crossed,guarantee that your privacy will be handled discreetly. Unless you find your body image on Facebook, E bay or Twitter.And don't be a punk about radiation, it's no more than if you stuck your head in a microwave for a minute. Stop being a whiny bitch. Because if you don't THE TERRORISTS WIN. Or you can be a pussy and OPT OUT. We will round up you civil dissidents for a full body PAT DOWN!Because if you don't THE TERRORISTS WIN. No one will escape our TOTAL and COMPLETE body search.No man, No woman, No child, the elderly or disabled.WE ARE HERE TO PROTECT YOU. OBEY! Because if you don't THE TERRORISTS WIN. We are here to PROTECT you.OBEY. We are the GOVERNMENT. TRUST US. Thank you for your cooperation from your flying friendly family at T.S.A. a.k.a. H.L.S. HappyHoliday's! F#*k flying I'm gonna take the train.